The World Passes Me By

I sit down at my regular table, three chairs circle a round plain table, but I only take up one. The cafe faces the street. The only cover from the weather is the umbrella above my head, so the autumn air nips my cheeks. In... Out. I like the crisp air entering and exiting my lungs. It makes me nostalgic, recalling the suburban Chicago neighborhood where I occupied my childhood. In the colder months your breath would leave your lips in a cloud of steam, and you could see the normally transparent and ever adapting oxygen supply. I can't see my breath here in my new home in the city where the sun is always shining and rain is a blessing. New city, new people, and yet... Familiar. I suppose wherever you go, people and cities always have common threads. Cities grow, people bustle along the concrete streets. The common threads are comforting considering I was practically plucked out of my hometown and into a new and alien place. As I remember my home, I watch the people move along going in all sorts of directions. An uptown girl in designer boots and an air of confidence I know is false. I know she's full of it because I've practiced the half smile she wears in the mirror before. And old couple, the woman on the elderly man's right arm, his smile is full of adoration as he looks at her. I ponder their stories. Where they came from, their hopes, their secrets. The people on you brush on the streets you rarely think twice about. When they pass me, I never cross their thoughts twice, I'm sure. I am a number. Am I that insignificant?

Falling in love

I want to be in love. So badly. It's been a while since I've felt that way about someone. I miss biting my lip and my heart pumping a million miles a minute, and all I really want is someone who's willing to love me for me, even with my long laundry list of flaws. I miss the butterflies, and I miss smiling for no reason. But most of all, I miss making the choice to love someone unconditionally through thick or thin even though there's a large chance it won't last forever. I miss that heart wrenching leap of faith, and I miss him diving off the edge with me.

Angel of Darkness

In the wasteland of broken dreams,
And where common threads are cut,
The Shepard's crown lays shattered at his feet,
Dethroned by his own sheep when our Father never came to save.

The Beast is on his way, achingly slow, but his arrival is certain.
Fear and heartache strike us, a clock at midnight.
It was never the Almighty's hour to rule,
We knew that when our imperfect masses imploded.

The Angel of Darkness waits in the wing for his new victims,
We bury them in the dirt because we've always known,
Heaven was never meant for such broken creatures.
We should have seen the Beast was coming when he cast no shadow.

Lost in thought

Everyone on this planet has dreams of triumph, of fame, and love. To say, "I was here," and mark an "X" on Planet Earth in bright red, because without the reassurance of our tiny scar, we feel we never mattered. And from an evolutionary standpoint, does anything really have any significance in the grand scheme of things? We are a speck on a speck, in a universe far greater, and larger, than any one mind could ever fathom. It is as humbling a thought, as it is a saddening one. Society dictates that to make your mark, one needs to do everything right. And society, being the bitch that it is, proclaims, "Be your best... In what I want you to do. Be kind... As long as the act of kindness is primarily for the benefit of one's self. There is always a choice... You have three! Those choices are gingerbread man, heart, or Christmas tree, all of which come in a neat little cookie cutter kit of conformation!" Oh goody, I love sacrificing my originality and imagination all to please a population that has no business being in my business. Even in America, the land of the free will, no one is, in their entirety, unchained.

Silver Linings Playbook Review

Silver Linings Playbook (Matthew Quick) has become one of my favorite novels of all time-and like an old friend I've grown to love it more each time I read it. Quick's writing is smart, with a distinctive and hilarious voice that embodies our protagonist, Pat Peoples, to perfection. Pat Peoples has just been released from the mental hospital, though is not sure how long he's been in there, but all of that is irrelevant, all he wants is to get back together with his wife and end "apart time."  A mysterious Tiffany keeps reappearing in his life, and he finds they've got more in common than meets the eye.  He's got the love and support of his friends and family to help him readjust to the world, all while cheering on the Philadelphia Eagles. The world is tough, and Pat knows it, but that doesn't stop him from maintaining an unshakeable optimism and a belief that there's always a silver lining. Quick's writing is funny without trying to be, and is so unapologetically honest. This novel is a story about misfits, and a fresh, heartwarming take on mental illness. For simply being the best thing on the planet, I give it 5/5 stars, and has moved it's way into my Top 3 Favorite Novels.

An Ode to Friendship

The people that you choose to surround yourself with can become deciding factors of other choices that affect your future. Whether we like it or not, we are hard wired to adapt. So when we put ourselves near others that are destructive and hurtful, it is only natural that it rubs off on us. Friends should be carefully chosen and maintained because they should not only be there for the hard times to bring you up, but also to cheer you on when you are flying high. Friends are hard work. They are. They aren't something that comes with an instruction manual, and they can be frustrating, and hurtful, and complicated, but I also know we can't go a day without them. They are the people that you know like the back of your hand and and become part of your DNA, your history, and your future. So choose your companions wisely, because they will leave a hand print you will carry on your heart for the rest of your life.

Lots of love,
Bex

The Infernal Devices Love Triangle

Firstly, let me just start off by saying I love the Infernal Devices series and pretty much everything about it, even the love triangle. And secondly, allow me to also state, for the record, I HATE love triangles. With a burning passion. I can not even stress how annoyed I get with this overused excuse for a plot. And before you say, "Wait, Rebecca, not two lines ago you said you loved the Infernal Devices?" Yes, yes I did. To explain, I can pretty safely say the Cassandra Clare's use of a love triangle is about the only one I actually enjoyed reading, instead of chucking the dang book out the window like I normally do when a love triangle emerges in the plot. Essentially, the Infernal Devices is a rare exception to the rule. It is a once in a blue moon kind of series, and might as well be on par with a unicorn. The root of the problem of a typical love triangle, for me at least, is the girl. When her two lovers are courting her, I've found the female heroine tends to be pretty cavalier about the whole mess, rarely thinking about how her actions are affecting others. And if the triangle could get even more irritating, one suitor typically fits the "bad boy" archetype and our heroine tends to mistake infatuation for love. Don't get me wrong, usually when I read a love triangle it fits the bill pretty well, but with Infernal Devices I was pleasantly surprised. What makes this story different is that each individual in this trio isn't selfish at all. They care deeply for one another, even the men, who are Parabatai (blood brothers), and a girl never once got in between them. Not to mention that Tessa is a total bad-ass. She's the kind of girl that doesn't need a guy to take care of her (ahem, Bella), and I can understand her appeal, and why these two men would love her. The Clockwork Princess was also unusual in the way that both Team-Will and Team-Jace fans were satisfied. This is one of the first young adult novels that I've read that displays love in its purest sense: an action, not some silly, stomach flipping over, heart pumping faster, you think about them late at night infatuation crap (yeah, that's right, I'm looking at you Sarah Dessen). No, as John Mayer sings angelically: love is a verb. And Clare hits that note spot on.

Lots of love,
Bex

The Infernal Devices Review

Set in the late 1800's, Cassandra Clare lays out the story in London, revolving around the world of Shadowhunters and their conquest to protect mundanes from demons. The story is mainly told through the eyes of Tessa Gray, a girl with a special ability no one can identify. Along her journey, she meets Will Herondale, a troubled boy she can't seem to shake, and Jem Carstairs, a kind-hearted boy she might see as more than a friend... All while battling demons and saving the world, but of course. The series consists of  three books: Clockwork Angel, Clockwork Prince, Clockwork Princess. Clare intertwines nods to her other series, The Mortal Instruments, which takes place in modern-day New York. The story is enthralling, and by far one of the best young adult fantasy series that I've read in a while (and believe me, I read a LOT). Clare's writing is smart and sexy as always, and with an ending that leaves you hungry for more, while still being thoroughly satisfying, I can safely say it deserves 4 out of 5 stars. And not to worry, Constanin Films is going to be in the process of casting in just a few months.

Lots of love,
Bex

We Are All Elizabeth Bennets

I, being the hopeless romantic and gullible sucker that I am, firmly believe there is someone for everyone, handcrafted to perfection by God himself for that someone. What ever God you pray to, or if you pray at all, chances are, you have loved someone unconditionally, and you have been loved as well. Whether your love be unrequited or not, and no matter how much it hurts, it is still a beautiful thing to love. That much is clear in just about every culture and every city in the world. Let's face it: girls and boys alike love love. Although it's tempting to jump the gun as soon as you meet "the one," there's also nothing wrong with taking things slow and figuring out where you stand with each other in not just this moment but in years (and decades, hopefully!) to come. And if he's the right guy, he shouldn't mind. I love telling some of my love sick friends that might be just a bit too young to understand that the one doesn't necessarily come when is most convenient: Someday, you will be the girl. Not just a girl, but the girl. You may not know to who, and he may not come today, or tomorrow, but someday, you will be the girl and he'll be the boy. Yes that's right, someday Mr. Darcy will come to sweep all of you Elizabeths off of your feet. It may not be in some elaborate, confusing courtship where he proposes multiple times, but I guarantee, he'll come in due time.

Lots of love,

Bex